I know there must be something more.

My morbid distaste in everything, and mostly myself is growing greater and greater. With everyday I lose not interest, but lust, passion, or even concern for humanity. Sigmund Freud said, "I have found little "good" about human beings on the whole. In experience my most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all." No one really liked(s) Freud, this quote is probably (should probably) be a good indicator as to why. But I could not agree more.

No matter what a person says, does, "believes"- to be true, in, of, etc.- they are ultimately a selfish creature. Now I don't know about most Egoists, but I for one agree with Freud's idea of the Id- the irrational, emotional part of the brain that does not care what is moral, or logical, it just looks for it's desires to be satisfied. It is not an organ we have, not even a medically documented part of a human, just a theory, just like most science can be reduced to, nothing more than a theory... But if you take the time to look around, at the people, around you, next to you, or even yourself, you COULD see the truth.

But people are too scared, we think we're are so evolved from the time Freud walked the planet, but how evolved are we? We no longer TALK to each other, we text, email, aim, a modern communication is evolving yes, but does it make us any better than our forefathers? No. What I'm really trying to get at is- we are still scared to look at the dark, depressing, almost sickening truth that we are SELFISH beings.

We have something inside us all that is programed for OUR survival, pleasure, desire. Why we want what we do is still a mystery to me- "What do we desire? To satisfy our pleasures. What are our pleasures? Our desires." So our Id is so hidden, and such a horrible little thing we choose to ignore it. Because we're scared to recognize the truth. Well I recognize it. I'm selfish. And I'm self absorbed. And just like any one else, I'm sickened by it.

All I know is (or all I truely have any faith in at all is) that we are all creatures of the Id, of our own self-interest. So should we deny it? Some would call a world in which we gave in to our world Hell. Anarchy and chaos are also two very generous words you could use? Maybe all our theories, religions, and the gift of love are all given to humans as coping mechanisms. Maybe we are doomed to fight an epic battle with our own nature. All I can say is (but only mean half-heartedly) ignorance is bliss. Just like most things in life we must use little white lies to skate by...