Marlboro Vs. Newport

I realize that any night I go out chances are, I am going to come home smelling like cigarettes. I don't smoke cigarettes. Last night I tried, to no avail, to smoke a cigar. When you see someone smoking a cigar, or cigarette they usually look calmed. Relaxed. Sedated. The nicotine can just give them a great big bear hug. I want that comfort. I want something you can buy at a gas station that makes me go, "Oh thank god, I have my _____ break now, it'll get me through the day." On my breaks, I sit and look out the window, watching traffic passing by, missing something, or wanting something more. Which leads me to think that these calming-cancer-stick-inhalers just have something to do, act like they have some reason to be outside, watching the traffic pass. Missing something. Wanting. Waiting. So then I think of a small child who has walked in on their older sibling watch Sex In The City, and witnessed Carrie scavenge for her cigs at the bottom of her over sized brightly colored hand bag. And this small child, Young Sibling, does not understand the complexity of the situation. Carrie and Aden just had another fight, Miranda and Steve are back together, Charlotte has her Jew, and Samantha has her pretty boy, Carrie now has no one. All alone, she calls on her trusty flammable friend to give her the bear hug she needs. All the Little Sibling sees is a sexy, appealing older woman, with great legs, fancy heels, and a pretty pink purse, finding great joy in her cigarette. Now this Younger Kid is going to go through DARE, and learn all of the dangers, is going to hear of people going under ground by way of lung cancer. But what happens when Child is walking home from school, and sees a mentor lighting up? It's everywhere. Just like anything else. We put things right in kids faces. It's convenient to indulge, it's a blissful wonderful experience most of the time. But people wonder why kids make bad decisions. They wonder how sweet little Jimmy grew up to deal pot. They follow footsteps. The walk right behind you watching what you do, and soon after, they find another kid who has also been following footsteps, they compare notes, and opinion is born. And then there are choices. Like, what brand of cigarette will little Jenny want today, Camel Light? Marlboro? Or maybe a smooth cool Newport? And soon we see Small Child, driving down the road, where another small child sees. Rinse. Repeat.

Wow. And I just went bananas? All because I smell like smoke, and walked by my wee sister's room. Oh well. It felt good to write. Off to bed. Work at 11:45, and espresso going into my system at 11:46. Goodnight to all two of you followers!