The pains of love, and the joys of developement

Last night, May 6th, a classmate of mine had been having a troubling day, and needed help on her Psych paper... So began the texting. Back and forth about about the length of the paper, the plea that Dean Brett initially gave for Bianchi, etc. The nest text was a bit shocking...

Maria: Do you have the suicide hotline number?

This troubled me, because I couldn't tell if her question was merely a joke trying to get at how much she hated this paper, or if there was something serious. So of course I asked the reasoning and sent the number along with it.

Maria: Someone just made a threat I have to report it... It's my son. Where did I go wrong?

I couldn't believe what I was reading. It seems I have been confronted with quite a few very depressed near suicidal people. This was new though, a mother, watching her child suffer to this degree. She of course put blame on her self.

Maria: I do feel it is my fault. I have given him everything I have. I don't know what to do. What should I do?

I remembered my past. I remember my mother crying, because of my tears. Everything was in a new light. I had suffered. I was the one who wanted to die. But the kind of pain my mother must have felt, was something I never took into account. What can a child say to a mother? What can a stranger say to a mother? I tried my best to console, and lend a helping hand. Maybe I was a pebble that started a ripple of hope. I am not sure, but I pray I may have helped ease her pain a bit, the way that no one eased my mother's.

Please keep Maria and her son in your prayers, I have not heard from her in a while. this is the second time this year they have dealt with this situation. They are getting him help today. All I can do now is pray.

Whilst all of this was happening I was waging a war against the great God of homework. I won the war at about 11:20, and it brought me such relief to have it all under my belt.

The homework is not all I have been working on. My beliefs are on my mind almost all day, soul searching, and writing, and thinking, and soul searching. So far I have this:

AAP: Amor (Love) Amidus (Soul) Pondera (Balance)

Live with BALANCE, act out of LOVE, for your SOUL.

ACT WITH: 1) Respect
2) Peace
3) Politeness
4) Non-Judgement
5) Responsibility

LOVE TO: 1) Love
2) Live
3) Learn what feeds you soul


The Creator is the being from which we all came. The Creator is all around us, and inside of us. The Creator has put a piece of himself, his spirit/soul, into all living things. This binds us all together, and establishes that we are all intertwined. A soul can only live one life at a time, but will leave a shadow/imprint of the life to linger on. Every soul lives a different life to learn what truly feeds the love and desires of the soul, so it can grow.

Some questions I still have...

-Nirvana/Heaven? Do either exist or are all of our souls just reoccurring for all eternity?
-Could souls be reaching their full growing potential? If so, what happens next? (See Nirvana/Heaven)