Hunger

I am starving right now. All I can think about is the food in my lunch bag. But I am too embarrassed to eat, because I am in a room full of strangers. And isn't that how life works. Everyone has a hunger for something, but most of the time we are too afraid to consume what we want.

That leads me to another thought. Today in Abnormal we watched a video on pedophilia, and it made me question the words that I preach. I preach a message of love and forgiveness of all people, to not judge other, and to be yourself most of all. Last night I got into a conversation with a coworker about not lieing to yourself, to just be who you are. But where is the line? Where is the balance? I hope that my theory on balance can, well, balance this out. In all, I do believe everyone should be given forgiveness, and I chance to redeem themselves. Although, if I were victim, or spouse of a pedophile, i think I'd be fighting hard to sing this same tune. And how hard is it to not judge someone who is having sexual intercourse with a MONTH old child? It's almost impossible. It's out of most of our range of thoughts. We can't begin to imagine how a baby could sexually arouse you. But it is what these people hunger for. Just as we hunger for some other things, so does that make them so different from us? We just hunger for different things. And to let them just BE themselves, endangers the well being and development of a child's health, and soul. So how can we let these people just BE themselves? We can't. The person must learn to practice a balance. They must understand that, even though they are being themselves, they are imposing on another person's self. Not just their body, but their soul as well. It sickens me to say, but if I was going off my philosophy I'd have to say if a person could find a honestly willing child, who hungered for an adult partner, I could not pass judgement. They balance each other, if they love each other, what is the problem? It's just something our culture is not used to. Our great philosophers of old would be filling the jail cells, and community treatment centers if they lived in our society. But in their culture, taking a young partner was both beneficial to the younger and elder of the couple. So the balance of the situation must be taken into account when "drawing" our line.

This could also be equal in the situation of statutory rape. If the minor truly and honestly LOVES, elder in question, and the elder LOVES the child in return, I see no place to pass judgement. Even though, as humans, it is SO hard to do. Especially when you must base the knowing the couple love each other on faith.

So balance is a thought on my mind today. Along with my hunger.

I am hungry. For so many things. For a new day to come with my music. For knowledge in my chosen career path. For knowledge of myself. For my arm to become a creator of art, the way it used to. I hunger for sunlight, and wind in my hair. I hunger to meet new people, with ideas of their own, I hunger to hear them. I hunger to leave the place that will always be a home to me, and find a new home, of my own. I hunger to walk out one door, and into another. As I will. Right now.

My coworker whom I mentioned previously, called me an optimist last night. He said that was the reason he liked me so much. And fight it as I may, it is who I am. I was shocked. I had never been called an optimist. And it was then I realized how much I have changed through my soul searching, and in my propriospect. I am a dreamer, an investigator, a lover, an artist, and an optimist. I see the good in all things bad, or at least I try to. And I have faith in people, even when sometimes, I should just give up. And in my optimism I have a twist that makes me unique. Just like every one's twists, make them unique. Surprise realizations are always fascinating.

That's all for now folks!