Saturday, April 18, 2009

Wearing Halos With Those Thoughts Again


I love waking up much earlier than I need to, to just spend the morning perusing the interweb, watching TV, reading, taking a long shower. All great things. 

I was thinking about my recording today, and felt sad for the first time. But it was not right for me. And looking aback I'm glad I didn't do it. It's kind of like giving up my scholarship at SEMO. I knew it wasn't for me, but I did work relatively hard for it, and spent a whole lifetime, building up to that moment, only to turn it down. But it wasn't me, it was not for me. So looking back, I couldn't be more pleased with myself, but there where plenty of times where I felt sad. And now, here I am, on my way to a Psych degree... Change of pace? So who knows what will come of the energy I put towards my music. 

Yesterday I put the down payment on the cabin! I can't wait. It's not to be in Branson that I'm excited about. It's about being away from everything. For five whole nights. Away from work, from school, from this house. But don't worry, there is Wifi, so I won't be away from Blogger... But I will not be on any other networks. I will want to update my thoughts while down there, but not communicate with any one other than the people on the road. I know. It's just a trip to Branson... To go to Silver Dollar City, but not for me. It is my first vacation, that I planned. That I will be paying for. No parents. No little sister (I love them, but it's not the same). And it is the start of my summer. The start to my new life I guess... 

I feel like this whole past year has been a transition period. I needed to learn somethings about life this year, and the all-mighty-item-in-the-sky whispered in my ear, that I needed to stay to find it. I didn't know what it meant then, but looking back, I have learned so much about life thi year. And even though I have struggled so hard with a distance of two people that keep me on solid ground, and struggled to stay sane in a workplace that I have learned so much at, and struggled to keep my grades good, every struggle has taught me something. But now this year is coming to an end, and a new chapter begins... A new life entirely. A new home. A new school, and of course new thoughts and ideas will come. So exciting. I just can't wait for May 19th. This year, will be done. And even though it has taught me so much, so so much, and can't help but to look forward a little starry eyed.

Now is the time in the day when I shower, and read.

END BLOG.

1 comment:

  1. You grew a LOT in your first year out of high school. You got so responsible and a lot more mature I guess I want to say, not that you were inmature before :) I am so glad you didn't go to SEMO. There is nothing like being at a school and then realizing it's not what you want to do. Branson sounds like fun! Are you going with a group or just the two of you? Take some pictures for me!

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