This semester let me see just how good I can do. My grades are fantastic, my job is great, my finances are running a bit low, but only because I've almost finished off paying for MY first car. Pride. It's taken a good long time to take a look in the mirror and say, "Wow, you've done good", and know that it's true. Not only that but as always I've made new friends, and new friends always bring new insight to you worldview. Not only have my new acquaintances taught me much, but so did my courses. As always learning, always drives me to love learning that much more. My religious/spiritual, learning, my worldviews, my person growth is so important, and everyday I roll out of bed I know that that day will be an important part in the growth. Something I've learned even more this semester.
But even with the good things, the grass is always greener on the other side. Nest semester my classes look even better, my coworkers are getting closer to me, my income will be higher, and chances are I'll learn even more. Then there's next year, and I could go into my excitement for that, but that's another blog in and of itself. But really my anxiousness is one of optimism. For once I look to my future with confidence that I've set myself up to go far, with a great team at my side- My family. They're the rocks that have built my foundation.
My father is a man of passion. He's always been the antagonist in the story of my life, but his sternness has broke me, which gave me a place to be rebuilt. His harsh words will never be forgot, but his passion is what me inspires me. Sometimes I feel the strength that he holds in his words coming out of my mouth, and filling my lungs with fury, and excitement. He's also taught me the consequences of "failure", what it means to fully please someone, how important image is, and how harsh the "real world" can be. All of these lessons came at a price, but because of that I will never forget them.
My mother was the women who picked me up when I was broken, and held me up, and I started my journey of reinvention. She gave me shelter, and the words of pride even when I thought I was not worthy. There was never a time when my mother turned her cheek to me, in every hard time she held strong, and guided me- My lighthouse in the storm. She taught me to laugh. She to me to cry. She taught me to hug. She taught me to welcome, to wave, to say hello to a new face. She taught me love unconditionally. These are the things that make me "just like my mother" so everyone says. The single most beautiful compliment I can get.
My Dave. My "bonus" Dad. We have had our quarrels, but they are few in comparison to the times we've had our joys. Dave has taught me reason, logic, and choice. "You have to choice to be angry, or be happy" he once said to me, I never understood that, because I was a daughter of a passionate man who acted purely on instinct. Now when I begin to fume I at least hear his words blurring through my mind. He has been my be hind the scenes savior. My mother gets all of the credit usually for my rough patches, but really my "bonus" dad has talked me through so many problems, and taught me how to deal with these problems, and walk out feeling at least honest and true to myself at the end of it all. He has become one of my best friends.
My sister is my inspiration. I remember her first writing, it was some unreasonable age that no small child should be writing, but I knew that day that she was going to be brilliant. Since then she's become the smartest, most talent, beautiful young lady, and I try so hard to keep her young in my mind, but she is growing into a woman so fast it scares me. At age 12 she is the youngest age she can be to be singing in the St. Louis Children's Choir's group of children who sing with the St. Louis Symphony, and last night she did just that, with a smile ear to ear. And I smiled ear to ear with pride. I will be getting vocal lessons very soon in her honor. If at her age she can be balancing two choirs, swim team, getting good grades in middle school, and maintaining a social life, I think I should be doing everything in my power to work just as hard as she is.
These people are the foundation of my being, and they are what will keep me going as I take my steps into the future with the new family members that will come to grow closer than ever. These are the steps I feel so ready to take. Finally I am CONFIDENT in myself, and need no one else's approval to take these steps, because I am ready. I know it. I've grown into who I am, and am ready to let that person flourish, and leave the past behind me.
